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Fear-Free Selling: Tip 52 – Learn to Become More Optimistic

By Dr. Scott Sindelar


Fear of selling is holding you back from reaching your highest potential and you may not even realize it. Even your web site may reflect your hidden fears. Fear of selling is often hidden or disguised.


We use a lot of words to label or describe this problem.  We can say we are shy. We can say we are introverted. We can say we are cautious, careful, or anxious. We can say we are perfectionists or procrastinators.  We can say we hate selling and don’t want to appear pushy. But, more often that not, those are just fancy words for being scared silly. That fear is what causes us to avoid building the best business that is within our potential.


After practicing business psychology for over 25 years, I have come to the conclusion that the most powerful motivator is not money. Neither is the most powerful motivator love, (although I wish it were). No, the most powerful motivator in the world is fear. 


How does this work? Let’s take a look at money and love.

The most powerful motivator is not money, it is the fear of not having any money.

The most powerful motivator is not love, it is the fear of not having any love.


Here is a tip from my new book,  Fear Free Selling - How To Become Absolutely Fearless Selling Anything: Products. Services, Even Yourself.

Fear Free Tip 52: Learn To Become More Optimistic


Research by the great psychologist Martin Seligman and others has shown that optimistic people tend to outsell, outperform, outlast, and outlive pessimistic people.  Pessimists tend to view themselves as realists.  In reality, they are often unnecessarily negative, cautious and fearful. They often give up easily, and easily learn to be helpless, resentful, angry, or passive in situations that have opportunities for success.


The good news is that optimism is learned.  One way to determine if you are optimistic or pessimistic is to observe how you think when something bad happens.


A pessimist tends to think using the three “P’s”:


Pervasiveness – If one thing goes wrong, it is evidence that lots of things go wrong. They believe in Murphy’s laws. They will think, “This whole organization is stupid.”

Permanence – If something goes wrong, it will always go wrong. “They’ll never get it right”

Personalizing- If something goes wrong, it is mostly their fault. “I never have any luck.”


In contrast, an optimist tends to think using the three “S’s”:


Specificity – “It is just this one specific event, not everything that goes wrong.”

Short-Lived – “Things can get better in the future and have been better in the past. This slump won’t last long.”

Shared Responsibility – If something goes wrong it is due to many ingredients. “Some of the causes are outside and some are my fault. What do I need to do to improve?”


Your task, then, is to move more into the “S” type thinking and away from the “P” type thinking.


The only exception to this is when you are hiring an accountant or chief financial officer.  It is desirable to have a healthy dose of pessimism in those who pay the bills and plan for future savings and expenditures. Making money off of your web site, however, requires your choosing to be more optimistic and fear-free in your selling approach.


Scott Sindelar, Ph.D. is a Business Psychologist, author, and speaker from Scottsdale Arizona. His new book [Fear-Free Selling – How To Become Absolutely Fearless Selling Anything: Products, Services, Even Yourself!] is available for download as an E-book from the online Advanced Business Success catalog: http://www.simpleshop.net/catalog.mv?394



Dr. Scott Sindelar